What an interesting week it’s been for me. Having gotten close to burning out, for the past two weeks I have been in somewhat of a ‘blow-out’ phase just switching off and really re-connecting with myself and my friends, both old and new. I remember in the early days I used to devour books by Aldous Huxley, Jack Kerouac, Aleister Crowley et. al. and I really subscribed to the “be here now” way of living – the new school Eastern Philosophy if you will. This past month I’ve really started hanging out with people outside of my usual social circle – and it’s something I thoroughly recommend doing – and these new friends are very carefree, hedonistic and living without consequence.
It really brought me back to my days where I really focused on living in the moment, trying to ingrain those principles into my life. But the most important thing that I have gotten out of that was perspective.
I’ve been burying myself in David Deida books as a reminder of those times and I was glad I did. I suppose you could say that even for me, I’ve hit almost a rock bottom point in my life in that I felt I was just spinning my wheels and plateauing where I felt I wasn’t getting any closer to where I wanted to go. As the saying goes though, nothing is ever as bad as it seems, which is where it is important to take a step back and shift your perspective of your life.
Again it comes down to another saying, “wherever you go, there you are“. Reading through David Deida’s writings, I remembered how important it is to find happiness now, or if not happiness finding contentment right now, within you. Be honest with yourself here, if you had a million bucks would you be happy? Sure, you would be happy immediately from the pure joy of having this newly found financial freedom, but if you haven’t fixed the problems that lie within yourself, you will undoubtedly hit another proverbial wall where those same issues keep coming up. So secondly, ask yourself, are you happy now?
As the world moves more and more digital and our lives become an online vanity parade, society is molding us to further draw our sense of self externally, through the eyes of others. We are becoming a comparison society where we are constantly weighing up our lives against other people whether they be our friends or big time celebrities. I feel if you don’t get a handle on trying to find contentment within yourself, this voyeuristic pop culture that is developing will consume you.
So why then is it important to have internal validation above all else? It’s simple, for happiness. If you are truly happy within and are on your path it doesn’t matter what the fuck everyone else is doing, it doesn’t matter what the new trends are, it doesn’t matter if you have 100k less followers than someone else. An interesting fact, I did read that there was a scientific study done to show that retweets (and I’m assuming instagram likes also) have the same affect on the brain as sex or orgasming, in that you get that external validation. We were hard-wired this way after all so that is hardly surprising!
If you continuing to draw value and confidence within yourself you will develop a rock solid foundation with which to take on the world, to interact with women -sorry girls, excuse my language but this post is geared towards masculine empowerment….I still love you all the same though :) – and to continue chasing your purpose. The most attractive thing in the world is to be on your path and have an undying purpose whatever that may be. Passion is both infectious and highly arousing.
Now with all of this psychobabble how then are you supposed to take the right steps in achieving this holy grail?
- Are you doing what you love right now; and if not what is it that makes you happy?
- What in the world makes you completely lose yourself in the moment?
- Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Why? What emotions do you feel?
- Are you chasing a feeling to forget about something else?
- What would you be doing if you were a millionaire?
- If you were a millionaire, what in your life would still make you unhappy?
Answer all of these questions and you have just begun to drill into some pretty important principles that you hold dearly or issues you are trying to get over.
If you feel like sharing please leave a comment, I would love to hear about it.
Let’s share, grow and move closer towards our purpose.
The Shining Man