The Fountainhead notes

I’m writing this from 32000 feet in the air. The plane is currently flying over the Plateaus of Tibet. It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my life and it has taken my breath away. I can count on one hand the times in my life that has taken my breath away. I must warn you that this post is more stream of consciousness than anything and I’ve barely slept.

I’ve been getting lost in the world of “The Fountainhead” by Ayn Rand, it is truly an inspiring novel. It’s about two completely opposite male characters. One, Howard Roark, who sees the world through his own eyes, he has a set of ideals and values that he absolutely does not compromise. He is absolutely brilliant, but he does not allow himself to be moulded into the thing that others want him to be. He stands with few in Rand’s world.

The other, Peter Keating, represents everything that I myself truly stand against. He sees the world through others’ eyes, through filters that have been placed in front of him. He is constantly seeking for approval and is trying to figure out where he stands with people. He lies and manipulates his way. He is at the mercy of his mother. He is in love with a woman who is in love with Roark. On paper though Peter Keating is the ultimate winner.

You see, the story is set pre 1940’s in New York and is set in the context of architecture. Roark and Keating went to the same design school. Keating graduated with the highest honour. Roark was expelled because he refused to play by the board’s rules. Keating climbed his way to the top of the best architecture firm, orchestrating the demise of people’s careers on the way up.

Roark struggled to get commissions. He works on the basis that if you want him to design, you tell him what you want and you give him free reign. His commissions and finished buildings earn the mockery of the entire architectural and high society of New York. Keating is paraded as the saviour of architecture.

——-

I’m reading this book and I’m constantly drawing parallels with my world and the world of Roark. It’s the path. It’s the journey. Roark doesn’t compromise on his path, he even left his architectural career to work in a quarry, returning triumphantly.

I have a new years resolution, and that is to stay on this path no matter what. It’s funny because at times I feel that the moment I am not on that path I feel like shit. I feel like I’m not growing like I’m sinking back. Previously I’ve written about fear, well, I still do. It’s the one thing that I dread, to go back, that I’ll get lazy and this will all get too hard and that I want to go back. Like Cyrus in the Matrix. He grows sick of the real world and wants to go back to Matrix, and go back to sleep.

My path is to keep growing as a man. To fully develop my ideals and my values and keep in alignment with that. A wise woman recently said to me, maybe you overanalyse too much? Maybe I do. But, I do it for me I need to constantly remind myself of these things every day. Every day I must take action.

That is the path, it’s respecting the journey and it’s respecting the process without depending on the outcome, without being attached to that outcome.

Your masculinity is not defined by the size of your chest nor is it defined by how much you can drink. It is not defined by the extra curricular activities. What defines your masculinity is your ability to shamelessly express yourself. Is to have the strength to completely trust and believe in yourself. It’s the ability to stay humble, and allow yourself to be humbled.

It’s your ability to allow a woman to be a woman, to make her feel like a woman. It’s the ability to look the world in the eye, and have it look away first. It’s the ability to not take yourself too seriously. It’s the ability to not compromise yourself.

That is what makes you a man.

That’s it for now. Think about your resolutions. Set the tone for next year. What can you be doing differently that you aren’t doing now that will help you?

 

As always,

 

TSM

Enjoy the little things

 

I’m writing this while watching the sunset over the beach. There is barely any light though, so it’s almost night time.

There really is something special about this time of day, it’s my favourite part of the day. It’s like it’s nature just saying, yo sit back and just reflect and look around and look at me! It’s beautiful, to just stand there in the surf and look out into the vast expanse past the horizon. It makes me realise how feeble I am and how much I should enjoy life, how much we should enjoy life.

What’s the point of letting those little negative things affect us, let them get to us. Life is so absolutely short. It actually was quite an emotional experience. I just kind of sat there and was just in awe. Appreciate what you have in this life, not what you don’t have. What is going to make you happy? What is going to bring you happiness? Having that appreciation, because if you think that chasing that bigger pay check, getting more money, getting more girls is going to bring you happiness. It won’t. What will bring you happiness is being that person that you want to be…Everyday. Don’t slip.

Take a look around, look at your friends and how great they are to you. Think about your family and how much they love you unconditionally. Think about that special someone in your life and awesome and amazing it is that they are in your life. I am, though I am away from that special someone so that makes it more difficult. But it makes me appreciate her so much more. Keep that cheer in you post Christmas, why does it only have to stop after Christmas. It doesn’t! Let it carry through into the new year and start thinking about your resolutions! I’ve got mine 🙂

Much love,

TSM

My Present to You! It will change your life.

Good day, wherever you are reading from in the world 🙂

As the year draws to a close and we immerse ourselves in the holiday cheer and festive season it’s important for us to just take a step back and to reflect on our year. It’s one of the biggest  tools for personal growth, reflection. What have you done this year? How have you grown? Have you found something or someone, have you lost them?

In order to see which way we are going sometimes it is important for us to track where we were at yesterday, last week, last month or last year. I know for me the past 18 months of my life have been absolutely pivotal and I know that in the future when I look back in reflection I can signpost this time in my life as utterly important. And I can tell you without a doubt, the first step that I undertook was to really look at myself in the mirror and that in and of itself was a form of reflection. I looked myself in the eye and tried to figure out what it was in my life that wasn’t fulfilling, wasn’t making me happy wasn’t getting me to where I wanted to go. That first step was to actually sit down and figure out where I saw myself going, literally describing my dream in absolute detail. I encourage you to do this to, really write down. These are my notes as in from October last year:

“The woman of my dreams is slim, tall. she is cute, she is beautiful. she exudes a radiance and femininity that makes others in awe of her. She challenges me. She is loving and adoring. She has her own dreams. She is intelligent. She understands my dreams and inspires me as much as I inspire her. She’s a girl who can party, and who can chill. She’s feisty in a cute way, she’s a strong and confident women but can and will submit to me and my masculine dominance. She is generally bright and bubbly but can go deep.

The man of her dreams is sure of himself. He is comfortable the way that he is, yet she appreciates the change that he is undertaking for himself in order for him to be internally happy. He is creative. He has strength in his character. He is master of his own reality, and doesn’t need or wait for someone to make his reality and desires come true. He lives for himself, his family, and his friends, and is extremely loyal. He is chasing internal happiness and does things for himself and not for others to like him.”

I also wrote down where I saw myself, and I was already doing the things that I love doing, e.g. music and playing guitar!

I want you guys to do the same, I want you to sit down and actually write down the characteristics of the man or woman of your dreams and that the man or women of that person’s dream. So many of us are actively looking for a relationship or a partner or even just a hook up, yet the reason why you can never get there is because you yourself don’t even know what your looking for. In a sense, you’ll take what you can get. Be selective, be the chooser, empower yourself.

If you’ve never tried any of my exercises or have taken action, make it a new years resolution to take action. Take massive action because it is the only way to everlasting change. So do yourself a favour and do this exercise and email me (peter.p.tep@gmail.com) or post it down below.

God bless and happy christmas!

TSM

Take the blame

Good afternoon or morning or evening, wherever you are reading from.

I just wanted to make a quick post this afternoon about something that I was thinking about. That is taking responsibility and accepting the blame. So often in our lives we are used to just placing blame on others, on a situation, on our bosses, on our partners, on our friends and on our families. It’s never our fault, it’s theirs. That’s our ego and our brain talking to us trying to protect us from ourselves.

A lot of times we just wait around and let something happen to us, let the universe just do all the work for us. Or we let our environment take full control of us, what do I mean by this? Well I mean we are used to giving in. Let’s say someone has gone and done something wrong and pissed you off then you say, fuck him, it’s his fault that I’m in this bad mood, it’s his fault that I feel this way. That’s absolute bullshit. If there is absolutely one thing that we can control in our lives, that is our emotions and our reactions.

Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor was a becon of hope for other people in concentration camps. He refused to let his captors win, he refused to let his captors take his dignity. He said this:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

If a man can go through one of history’s greatest horror with this mindset, surely we can learn from him and use this lesson to navigate through our own comparatively easier lives. In no way am I saying life is easy or your situation isn’t as hard or as easy as anyone else’s. I’m just trying to highlight that we should be taking control and owning our attitudes to things, so that we can empower ourselves.

I catch a lot of people, my friends included placing responsibility on others and never taking the blame. And you know what, that’s okay because we are all growing and learning and I never judge someone on where they are at in their perceptions and developments, because that was once me. I’m currently reading Robert Kiyosaki’s, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and there is one theme that keeps popping up. That is taking control of our emotions and changing our attitudes to it. If you are unhappy, don’t blame your job, don’t blame your boss. Take responsibility and if you are able to change the situation, then change the situation. If you hate your job or something about your life, is there something you can change to make it better? Have you taken a step back and thought about it? And if you can’t then,

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor Frankl

Just a thought, take this in your stride tomorrow, try applying it 🙂

Live and Love,

TSM

Style

Guys are trying way too hard with fashion these days. Especially the younger ones. It’s a constant reminder of the state of men these days. They are lost, they are unsure of themselves and are constantly looking to their environment and the world to react to.

I’m down for moving fashion forward but you don’t have a stable base to work off and don’t understand the basics and how to rock them then…..

Really, it’s simple. Keep it basic because it’s your personality that’s going to be the colour of your outfit. Take a bit of pride in yourself. I’m really into what Mr Porter (www.mrporter.com) are doing over there so literally head over there and do yourself a favour and just check it out. They’ve got it so right. You want to look like a man whose style transcends time, not a boy who is unsure of himself.

Remember it’s your movie, your the main actor so start acting like it. Stop reacting to others and just do what you want!

 

 

The Man of Your Dreams

Good day to you! It’s been awhile since my last post, I’ve been busy just living life, observing and bouncing ideas off of people.

I was stumped for awhile, I actually had to reconnect with myself, with my process and with my daily routine and habits. It’s funny, the further and further you go down this rabbit hole, the more and more you work on yourself, the more and more you have to be vigilant and proactive. In a way it actually get’s harder. What am I talking about?

I mean, if you’ve been applying yourself and these principles to your life your consciousness raises and your own bar of standards and entitlements raises. It becomes easy to just float on that line but if you do that, you become stagnant and there is no more growth! So, you have to keep pushing and respect yourself and respect the process without letting the bullshit of the daily grind get at you. That’s why it’s called the daily grind it’s the stupid stuff that just grinds at you, so knowing that, don’t let it get to you! This happened to me, so I had to take a step back and just be conscious of all the changes and habits I was trying to reinforce. I’m back now!

“THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS”

I was talking to a friend of mine, and I think he is going through a rough patch in particular with the ladies. The reason I got on to this path of change was because I was doing so bad with the ladies, and I thought there had to be a better way. I’ve been there so I know, I was right. There is a better way. I changed.

We got talking and I got thinking. In order to be loved, you must love yourself. You must accept everything that you are and look yourself in the eye in the mirror. Try it, go look at yourself in the mirror for five minutes, but don’t just look at yourself, stare at yourself in the eyes. It’s actually quite confronting if you have never done it. If you can’t even look at yourself in the eyes for five minutes with shaking or quivering in eye contact, how do you expect a beautiful woman to do the same and accept you?

A lot of guys want the easy way out, they want the path of least resistance. They want it to be handed to them on a silver platter without working on themselves or working for the girl.  It’s the result of social conditioning and instant gratification. People don’t want to put in the hard work or think long term permanent change. They want it now.

So. How can this be directly applied to help you. Well let me give this to you, and picture it. You’re in the bar, you see her. There she is. She’s flawless. Long blonde hair. Sexy body. A beautiful short red dress and killer legs. She catches your eye, she’s looking at you. What do you do? That will answer a lot of your questions.

To become the man of any woman’s dreams, you must first become the man of your dreams. What is it about your life that you don’t like? Is there something you can change? You feel sorry for yourself, yet how do you spend your days? Do you sit in front of the tv, the internet, YouTube. Do you let stupid shit bother you. Do you physically exert yourself. Do you have a purpose.

I want you to sit down and actually write down in your mind the picture of the perfect you. The man that you want to be in your dreams, the man that you see yourself killing it in all areas of life. And it’s called a dream so dream big! It’s better to dream big than to be ‘realistic’ about it, it’s to do with your sense of entitlement. What you feel entitled to, what you feel you deserve or are worth.

My dream self is a me who is so unshakeably confident and knows exactly what he wants in life. I’ve discovered my purpose, my morals, my ideals, my values and I’ve surrounded myself in those things. I’ve conquered my fears and live my life fearlessly. I’m a great friend, a great brother, a great son and a great lover. I exude the confidence of the past (ala Dean, Brando, Mcqueen) yet have the sensitivity to be in touch with the feminine. I’m proactive and go after what I want relentlessly, shamelessly and fearlessly. Let me tell you, when you can conquer and command these things, the fear of going up to talk to a beautiful woman diminishes. It has no affect on you. In ancient times, the rite of passage for boys was to go in the wilderness by themselves and to only return once they’ve skinned the fur of a vicious predator.

We don’t have that, our society has breeded pussies with first world problems. This is going to be a continuing trend of topic over the new year. Let’s all change for the better, for ourselves and man the fuck up.

I’m going to speak harshly for a quick minute here and go the opposite side of positive self help. If you can’t even muster up the courage to go and talk to a beautiful woman it says one of two things. You’re subconsciously communicating that you don’t go for what you want and that you don’t deserve a woman like her. In nature, your genes would be weeded out of existence because let’s face it, that woman doesn’t want to procreate with you, she doesn’t want her children to be little bitches and bitch out of ‘tough’ situations. You don’t deserve her. You can’t even do what you were put on this earth for. That’s a harsh way to look at it!

Really, take control because once you’ve discovered your core purpose, your values and morals and surround yourself with those things. When you take constant action, love yourself and give rather than take. What is the fear of talking to a beautiful woman. It’s nothing. It becomes enjoyable rather than something to be scared of.

 

Live and Love

The Shining Man

Getting Lazy

Good morning readers!

Yesterday was a little bit weird for me, a little bit off. I had a feeling of almost not giving enough, not being there and it was the first time that I had felt like that in over 6 weeks. I’m one of those weird people who tries to track my progress and my day to day behaviours and shift them accordingly to get myself closer to my goals.

I went through the day in a very neutral almost negative state, and by state i mean my thought patterns were seeking for the negatives instead of the positives. After doing months of meditation and just practising watching my thoughts, ala Eckhart Tolle, I was getting frustrated! Slap out of it I said to myself, and I literally slapped myself.

A normal human trait is laziness, we have been conditioned to be lazier and do less work then we actually should, for example, our society is based on instant gratification fixes such as TV etc. Anyways, it is just a running trait in nature I was watching a video this morning where human astronauts that spend a considerable amount of time in space come back down to Earth with a less dense bone mass. Their bodies actually adapted and got weaker!

How easy is it for us to just slip back into our normal habits, and I know I’ve gone on about it in most of my posts but I didn’t actually fully feel the bad effects of it until yesterday. I got lazy yesterday and not only did I suffer from it but my friends, family and people around me did as well. I GOT LAZY!

My friend Tim sends out a daily email as well, and he has a great website called Do Something Rad, you should check it out if you get a chance and tell him I sent you. This morning his email was to do with daily rituals and thinking about all of the things that you have to accomplish in the day, as if the day has suddenly owned you. I read this and took a step back. It’s true. I translate this as respecting the process and being outcome dependent which is a principle that Owen from Real Social Dynamics talks about.

I wasn’t respecting my process, I wasn’t waking up thinking with “begin with the end in mind” as Stephen Covey says. I had neglected this and I and those around me suffered. I lived in reaction instead of in non reaction and with proactivity.

When you wake up make a daily ritual that you should follow, because human beings are creatures of habit and of routine. Think about going away on a long holiday just waking up and floating on, it’s easy to get lost in that reality. This morning I skimmed over “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and one of my highlighted notes was this:

“One of the main things of Dr. Garfield’s research…in peak performance…showed was that almost all of the world-class athletes and other peak performers are visualizers. They see it; they feel it; they experience it before they actually do it. They begin with the end in mind.”

It’s strange it’s like daily i’m constantly reminded of little things like that, that push me closer to my goals, to where I want to be, to who I want to be as a shining man. It’s more than coincidence though I feel, and I feel it’s because I’m constantly aligning myself to these values that things in my life and in the universe just keep pointing me and nudging me along. It’s a great feeling, it’s a feeling of appreciation and trust in the universe that everything will be okay. It’s another great feeling to have someone in your life that you can bounce these ideas off without being looked at like a weirdo, so to her, thank you.

Moving on now, Tim wrote in his email to have a daily ritual and I just wrote out mine, and you should do the same, try it out for three weeks and see how you feel! I’m already feeling 100 000 000 000 better and with more control over myself. The ideas on daily rituals and stuff like that in this post are 100 percent from Tim so if you enjoyed it just google Do Something Rad, just so he knows I’m not stealing his swag haha.

Tim’s quote of the day:

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, i know I need to change something.

– Steve Jobs RIP

 

 

 

Live like Batman

“Face that which you fear. Condition your heart to trump your ego. Move boldly in the direction of your life purpose.” – Dr Sean Stephenson

The further and further I travel down this rabbit hole, the more I am constantly trying to align myself with my purpose. It almost feels like a drug. I’m still at the point of conscious competence I feel, I have to constantly think and remind myself to commit to actions. Because ultimately it is not our thoughts but our actions that define us. Funnily enough I got that after watching Batman Begins.

From childhood, Bruce Wayne had a debilitating fear of bats and also had a belief that his parent’s death was his fault. He went rogue and left his billionaire lifestyle in search of a life defeating crime. He travelled to Asia where he was recruited by a legendary and mythical group of assassins called The League of Shadows, who was responsible for bringing balance to humanity after it had peaked, e.g. the fall of Rome, the bubonic plague, etc.

During his training, his master had one final task for his best student. To completely overcome his fear and surround himself with that fear, and this was the birth of Batman. I resonate so much with this story and I think it’s a valuable lesson for any Shining Man or person for that matter. It takes a person of extreme courage to confront yourself and face your fears, to take control over your fears. So many of us are used to sinking back into old habits and just take the easy road. I know because I’ve been there, and it’s a daily process and that is one of the most important distinctions to make. It is a DAILY PROCESS.

Constantly remind yourself of what it is you hold dearly, what it is you value, what your fears are, where you want to be, the person you want to be, the goals you want to accomplish. It’s so easy to fall back into auto pilot and forget to do these things, I continually have to remind myself of these things because it is so easy to fall back into old habits after 2 weeks. Your mind gets used to it.

I was having a conversation with my best friend, and was stuck for a decision and had a choice to make. I won’t go into the details of it all, but basically he has been overseas for three weeks and he is back, and we are all leaving again in three weeks for Europe. He asked for my advice with his girlfriend. I said to him what Rachel said to Batman, as cheesy as that sounds. Really, it’s your actions that define you. It’s the tiny little details daily that make the most difference in life and in relationships not the big extravagant moves. Telling or showing a woman in your life things that you appreciate about her, remembering something small that she likes, etc, is better than one day going all out and then resorting back to those old habits.

It’s not what you say, what you say you’re gonna do, what you’re thinking, it’s the things that you do. You can make a promise or say something out loud but if you don’t commit to it than you aren’t keeping your word. And if you don’t keep your word you’re only cheating yourself. You are telling your subconscious that it’s okay not to follow through, and that begins the snowball effect.

I can’t stress enough how important the idea of beginning with the end in mind is. Find out what you fear and take it on head on. Commit yourself to overcoming your fear especially if it is holding you back. I feared a life of not having the ability to choose and mould my own fate, my future. I refused to let life live through me lazily and not have the ability to change. I feared a life of living in reaction to my world. I’ve overcome a lot of those fears and still am, and I have surrounded myself in this and I’m on a mission to help others achieve the greatness and potential in them. Not in big extravagant ways but in the small things!

Try it out, leave a comment, email me let me know how it goes for you and if this has helped you, show a friend my blog or just tell them about it. Teaching it will help improve your understanding as well and help enrich your own life experience.

Be good and be well,

The Shining Man

Get out of your head and let go

Yep we all do it. When you don’t follow your ritual, when you don’t begin with the end in mind, when you regress and neglect you mind and body. You do it. I did it. You get in your god damn head.

You overanalyse you over think everything. I’m actually just about to go to dinner with my boys and all week I’ve been thinking logically, in super grind mode. And because I play in this band and I dont have a regular 9-5, I have to make shit happen, I have to force habit and routine. But I love it. I was talking to the beautiful woman in my life about it, and it’s so great to have someone to bounce ideas off.

She is someone I look up to myself, she is constantly grinding and she understands the nature of the beast and she doesn’t let it get her down. I’m pretty lucky to have her in my life.

But seriously I’ve been in my head the whole night just thinking about stupid shit. And just then I let go, just jump. It’s called the null point of existence, which I will go on about in further detail in another post. Don’t be afraid, say what’s on your mind and just express yourself. It’s like unlocking the shackles. It’s freedom at it’s greatest.

I’ll finish off this post by saying one thing. Look around you, look at your life, there is surely something you can appreciate it. I’ve had a hard upbringing but I can tell you now I’m lucky. I fear nothing. Confront those fears continually and you will grow.

Fall faster and harder, and jump off the edge,
The Shining Man

Be a Better You

Be a better you to be a better lover. I hear a lot of guys talk about how they want a girlfriend now! It’s like I’m hearing I NEED a girlfriend now. That’s okay you know, because ultimately that’s probably the best thing in life, sharing your life with someone you love, ultimately being self-sacrificing.

They miss one important thing though…they are neglecting themselves! In order for someone else to love you, you need to love yourself, and not in a narcissistic and self absorbed way. I’m talking about accepting yourself, accepting everything that makes you you, because really, you are perfect. We are all perfect. A perfect creation of nature, capable of thought and reason.

You really have to work on yourself. When I hear guys talk about this need of a woman, they are saying that they need a woman to fill in the gaps, fill in the gaps of insecurity in themselves. They are coming to the table with a cup that is half empty and not half full. A great way for guys to rediscover themselves is to find their purpose in life and completely align themselves with this purpose. Find out your ideals, find out what you stand for, because that is attractive. Fully embrace yourself and your identity, and only you can do this and figure this out for yourself. A great starting point for this would be David Deida, author of “The Way of the Superior Man”. http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576

Masculinity is not the stereotypical big bulky and dominating man who forces himself on others. Masculinity is knowing that purpose, being a leader through example and through the service of others. John F Kennedy once said “a rising tide lifts all boats”, and that truly applies here. Be that person that everyone wants to be around because you lift them up. You make them feel better, you make them feel like a human being, help them feel their worth in a world that doesn’t pay attention.

Just thought I’d post this short thought up. Got some new content coming soon! Stay tuned!